Bram Stoker’s Dracula (Erin: 0.5 Stars, Bret: 1 Star)

Whoa… you totally forgot one terrific actor, man.”

Imagine taking classic source material (“Bram Stoker’s Dracula” — an iconic story and one of Bret’s all-time favorite books) and putting it in the hands of a legendary director (Francis Ford Coppola). Toss in some terrific actors (Gary Oldman in the titular role, Anthony Hopkins as Van Helsing) and you should have cinematic gold, right? Right?

No…. no. No.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula received the lowest combined score of any film we’ve reviewed so far.

According to no less a source than, the film was originally meant to be an original take on the Dracula mythology, but because the title Dracula was held by another film company, they decided to just name it Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

The move killed two birds with one stone; allowing the film to have Dracula in the title AND to trample on the grave of Bram Stoker, which apparently was very important to Coppola.

Because Bret’s head is going to explode if he has to think too hard about this film, we encourage you to watch our review above for all of our thoughts about this travesty.

They didn’t even get the vampire right, he isn’t sparkling at all!

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