Rules

Want to start your very own LastNameMovieProject but don’t know where to start? Feel free to steal the rules for the RockMovieProject below:

Rule #1 All movies must be watched in their entirety. No skipping out because you “don’t like it,” “don’t want to watch it,” or because “Burt Reynold’s face is going to haunt my dreams forever.”

Rule #2 All movies must be watched in alphanumeric order. Unless you have trouble alphanumericalizing, in which case you may watch A Christmas Story and A Few Good Men with the “A’s” and A Beautiful Mind with the “B’s.” For the most part, attempt to stick to alphanumeric order (and, again, no skipping).

Rule #3 Any newly purchased or gifted movies that can be slotted into the lineup without going backwards may be added to the queue. Any movies that you would have to go back to watch are sent to the barren wasteland of the Non-Reviewed where up is down, left is right, the sky is purple and you can only find the donut holes, but not regular donuts. Figuratively speaking.

Rule #4 — You must watch at least three movies per week. Unless you don’t have the time, energy or you are stuck on Bram Stoker’s Dracula. In all honesty, we are averaging less than one movie per week since we started, but we try.

Rule #5 — Popcorn must be provided. This is just common sense, people.

Rule #6 — Remember to charge your video camera as you are watching. We cannot stress this enough.

Rule #7 — At the conclusion of each film, record yourself/selves making a hastily thrown together review of the movie. Contrary to popular belief, there is no requirement for using the word “fantastic” at least five times in each review, nor is there a cap to number of times you may say “it makes me laugh.” Those are just verbal crutches for Bret.

Rule #8 — Post that review to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, ChristianMingle.com, your own blog, Tumblr, your parent’s fridge, Google+ and anywhere else you see fit.

Rule #9 — Do your very best to get people to watch your reviews so that someday you can sell it to a media conglomerate for hundreds of millions of dollars.

It’s THAT simple, folks. Now get out there and do your best!

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2 thoughts on “Rules

  1. marshabergen says:

    So I was just browsing your collection and noticed that neither Top Gun OR Pretty Woman is included. May i just say, i’m very disappointed because they are my favorites. I will, however, overlook this mishap by being a guest star for Spaceballs and/or Super Troopers. k thnks, byeeee

    • BretRock says:

      That’s crazy. For some reason I think I might have just missed Top Gun. I would almost guarantee we own it, MarshBerg. And consider yourself a future guest star.

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