Tag Archives: Bret 4.5 Stars

Crash (Erin: 4 Stars, Bret: 4.5 Stars)

It’s been a while, we know.

For instance, we’d forgotten how awesome Bret looked with a beard.

You have to hand it to Crash, really. It was the movie that basically led to the creation of this ongoing/never-ending project; it led to a near shut-down of the RockMovieProject when it came time to watch it; and, now, even though we watched it probably a month ago, it has led to a near grinding halt of blog postings. Pretty serious business.

Not for lack of trying on Erin’s part, though. For the better part of the last six years Erin has been trying to force this movie on Bret. Seasons change, holidays come and go and yet he steadfastly refused to watch.

In the end, the movie wound up garnering high scores from both Erin and Bret.

It’s hard to believe a movie full of so much hate can actually be profoundly inspirational, but there you have it.

With that said, we are FINALLY past Crash and onto better and hopefully faster things. What say you to that, Sir Sean Connery?

We could not agree more. Four Stars from Erin, 4.5 from Bret.

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Cast Away (Erin: 3.5 Stars, Bret: 4.5 Stars)

There are very few times in a grown man’s life when the loss of a volleyball can make him weep uncontrollably; Bret has no qualms in saying that the departure of Wilson in Cast Away is very nearly one of those moments.

Cast Away is a tremendous film that is alternately about hope or about crippling loss, depending on whom you ask.

It also features one of Tom Hanks’ greatest performances, in which he nearly gets a volleyball nominated for Best Supporting Actor, settling instead for Best Volleyball in a Motion Picture.

“There are so many people I have to thank.”

Ever the optimist, Bret argues that Cast Away is about hope. That Hanks’ speech toward the end about the tide coming in is wonderfully inspirational and the ending of the film, while ambiguous, shows us a man who defied near-insurmountable odds and has the whole world in front of him.

On the flip side, the movie is exhausting for Erin and the idea of Chuck and Kelly losing each other is devastating. Even though, let’s be honest, it’s Helen Hunt and Tom can probably do better.

“Ummmm…. I think I’d like to go back to the island now.”

Let the record show that she has no concern for the poor kid who never got his volleyball, by the way.

Three-and-a-half stars from Erin for Cast Away; four-and-a-half from Bret.

P.S., great comic HERE.

P.S.S., not sure why we look like we are filming a shot-for-shot remake of the “Take On Me” video in the screenshot above.

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Captain America: The First Avenger (Erin: 4 Stars, Bret: 4.5 Stars)

In a ten-minute time span toward the beginning of Captain America, Tommy Lee Jones watches Chris Evans go from starving Ethiopian to Mr. Universe; run down a car on foot; swim down a submarine; punch a hole in the glass of said submarine so he can rip the bad guy out; and throw said bad guy from the water onto the dock ten feet above and then declares: “I asked for an army and all I got was you.”

And that’s it.

“Pssh…. who can’t run down a car on foot?”

Really? You can’t find a spot in your current Army for a guy that ran down a car on foot and swam down a submarine?

We guess in the end it all works out for the best, but it seemed short-sighted at the time.

As for the entirety of the movie, we loved it. Neither Erin nor Bret are huge Captain America fans, at least not heading into the film, but it was a really fun origin story that felt very organic when it came to the time period and setting — a credit to Director Joe Johnson who actually has had a pretty underrated career: director of The Rocketeer (a Bret Rock favorite and a definite precursor to Captain America), Jumanji and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids; and art director on little films like Raiders of the Lost Ark and the first three Star Wars movies.

Chris Evans is very likable and believable as both Steve Rodgers and Captain America, Stanley Tucci is a lot of fun as a German scientist, Tommy Lee Jones — questionable military tactics aside — is fitting as Colonel Phillips and Hugo Weaving always makes for a solid villain.

Captain America: The First Avenger comes highly recommended by the RockMovieProject, with Erin giving it 4 Stars and Bret giving it a four-and-a-half.

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A Beautiful Mind (Erin: 4 Stars, Bret: 4.5 Stars)

Bret is temporarily suspending all movie discussion to rant about Josh Lucas, he has the floor:

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, can someone please explain to me why Josh Lucas is not a movie and/or TV star? Does he have the worst agent in Hollywood? Does he have some sort of rare blood disease preventing him from being a leading man? Was that Stealth movie really so bad that it actually murdered his film career? Is he actually two midgets standing on top of one another? I don’t understand it. I am terribly vexed.

This guy can’t be a movie star, but writers script roles specifically for Taylor Lautner who looks like a llama.

Look at him. Seriously, does he not look like he should be a star? I am not romantically interested in other men, but if I could look like one other human being, it might be Josh Lucas.

He carried Reese Witherspoon to a successful romantic comedy, which is nigh impossible (Sweet Home Alabama); in Poseidon he made a remake that didn’t need to be made watchable and, more importantly, fun; and in A Beautiful Mind he acted opposite Russell Crowe and held his own. I refuse to believe he is incapable.

You want to know his last five movie role character titles?

1. ‘Cab Driver’ in a Nicholas Cage movie called Stolen, which I imagine is every bit as horrible as it sounds. His character name is Cab Driver, for chrissakes! That’s not even a proper noun! Apparently ‘Him’ was just a shade too generic;

2. ‘Neil Cassady’ in a biopic about Jack Kerouac called Big Sur. He co-stars in this movie with Anthony Edwards five years after his career was pronounced dead and Elliott from E.T. who gets cast in one film a year just so he can fill out a W-4;

3. ‘Charles Lindburg’ in Clint Eastwood’s J. Edgar. A role which sounds juicy until you check the credits on IMDB and realize that he received 38th billing;

4. ‘Young Mariner’ in Hide Away. I mean… are they just f*cking with me now? ‘Young Mariner’? Apparently he headlined this movie in 2011. The fact that you’ve never heard of it is not a coincidence; and

5. ‘Ted Minton’ in The Lincoln Lawyer, or as you may remember it, that movie where Matthew McConaughey played a lawyer, but not the one where Samuel L. Jackson hopes people burn in hell.

That’s it. Josh Lucas has been cast in two movies that I have ever heard of in the past six years.

We live in a world where Robert Pattinson is adored (and he makes Keanu Reeves look like Tom Hanks), where Nicholas Cage stars in every third film released, where Ashton Kutcher gets paid $11 billion dollars an episode on TV, yet Josh Lucas can only get work as a character named ‘Cab Driver.’

I am exasperated, but I will not stop until this man gets his due. Josh Lucas, although I imagine you to be a somewhat infrequent visitor at the RockMovieProject, please know that I am in your corner (but, seriously, get a new agent).”

As for the film, the Best Picture winner receives high marks from both Bret and Erin (4.5 Stars and 4 Stars, respectively). Erin cops to nearly crying during the acceptance speech at the end, Bret regards Paul Bettany as being “nearly see-through,” and both proclaim Russell Crowe’s performance as one of the absolute best of his career.

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Batman Begins (Erin: 4.5 Stars, Bret: 4.5 Stars, Kyle: 5 Stars)

You’ve traveled the interwebs… now you must journey onward… to what you really want to see… the RockMovieProject review of Batman Begins.

Guest star Kyle Rock joins Bret and Erin as they review the third Batman film of the collection (watched out of order with Batman Returns).

While Bret and Kyle try to have a serious discussion about the merits of the film (tremendous casting, a great plot and some of the best dialogue ever in a comic book movie), Erin keeps interrupting with her interpretation of Bale’s Batman voice, including a recommended alternative toward the end of the review; she definitely has a taste for the theatrical.

Kyle glows over the film (literally, thanks to some extra lighting on our end) giving it his first perfect score of 5 Stars, while Bret and Erin each give Christian Bale’s first go as Batman a 4.5 Star review.

Are you ready to begin?

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Back to the Future III (Erin: 4 Stars, Bret: 4.5 Stars)

As the story comes full circle in Back to the Future III, so too does it in the RockMovieProject as Erin admits she wishes she would have given Back to the Future a higher grade.

As we bid adieu to Marty, Doc, Einstein and that sweet, sweet hover board, we also mull over important questions like: Doc Brown, mad-man or scientist?; To what era would we travel back to if we had a time machine?; Is the brilliance of Tom Wilson’s Biff underrated?; Why was Marty not in Doc’s wedding?; and whether or not the series feels dated (Spoiler Alert: Bret says no, Erin, in one final attack on the Back to the Future trilogy, says yes).

Also, have to appreciate the further evolution of Doc’s character:

It’s a long review, but well worth the watch if you are bored enough, and we think you are. Four stars from Erin, 4.5 from Bret.

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Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (Erin: 4.5 Stars, Bret: 4.5 Stars)

Ladies and gentlemen… can we please have your attention. We’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. We need you all to stop what you are doing and listen: ANCHORMAN!

A favorite at Rock Manor, Bret and Erin often spend days at a time speaking in quotes from this film to one another.

Provided you are not in a glass case of emotions, you are cordially invited to watch the review… feel free to toss your favorite quote in the comments section!

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy nets a solid 4.5 Star review from both Bret and Erin.

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A Christmas Story (Erin: 4 Stars, Bret: 4.5 Stars)

Thanks in large part to substandard alphabetizing, A Christmas Story is movie number eight. The film receives a major award from Bret with a 4.5 Star rating, while Erin gives it a more fra-gil-e rating of 4 Stars. We triple-do-dare-you to give it less than that.

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40-Year-Old Virgin (Erin: 4 Stars, Bret: 4.5 Stars)

A very funny film to help take the edge off of 21 Grams. Carrell’s break-out performance in The 40-Year-Old-Virgin scored a 4.5 from Bret and a 4 from the ever-stingy Erin.

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