Tag Archives: Bruce Willis

Bandits (Erin: 2.5 Stars, Bret: 3.75 Stars)

“Far more tolerable than you can possibly expect.” — Erin Rock

There’s your quote for the Bandits movie poster from this review. Erin gave it a 2.5 Star review because Bruce Willis’ hair was substandard and because she couldn’t get past the love triangle aspect of the film.

Bret, on the other hand, liked the film a lot. You can tell by the sheer number of times he says, “I like this movie a lot” (enough to give it a 3.75 Star review, succumbing to the dark side with a .25 Star). Also, if you aren’t sure whether Bret liked the ending or not, you certainly will by the fifth time he says so.

If nothing else, stay til the end for Dobby wandering into the shot. Christian Bale would have been SO pissed off if he were us:

“Why the f*#@ are you walking right through, cat? Ah-da-da-dah, like this in the background. What the f*#@ is it with you? Ohhhhh, goooood for you. And how was it? I hope it was f*@#ing good, because it’s useless now, isn’t it?

“F*#@’s sake cat, you’re amateur. You’re a nice cat. You’re a nice cat, but that don’t f*@#ing cut it when you’re walking around like this on set.”

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Armageddon (Erin: 3 Stars, Bret: 3.5 Stars)

We don’t want you to close your eyes. We don’t want you to fall asleep, cause you’d miss our review and we don’t want you to miss a thing.

Following on the heels of the ultra-realistic Apollo 13, we get another realistic space adventure.

Armageddon is a pure popcorn flick, which isn’t a bad thing by any stretch. Not to steal quotes from other movies, but even the disc smells like pure testosterone, so it comes as no surprise that Erin’s 3 Star grade was a notch lower than Bret’s 3.5 Star review.

Although, will someone or something kill A.J.? Please? The movie should have been called A.J.’s Space Day Off with him jumping over stuff in slow motion at the end… ohhhhhhh yeahhhhhhh.

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