Tag Archives: Erin 1 Star

Blue Chips (Erin: 1 Star, Bret: 3 Stars)

If he was in it, you would have noticed.

Absolutely one of the most contentious reviews thus far for the RockMovieProject.

Among the cavalcade of issues Erin had with the movie were the plot, the acting, the basketball scenes and, perhaps most importantly, Gary Busey’s performance.

What’s that, you say? Gary Busey’s performance? Was Gary Busey in Blue Chips?

That’s right, boys and girls, we discovered later that week that Erin thought Gary Busey, not Nick Nolte, played coach Pete Bell, which in Bret’s opinion, invalidates everything about her review.

While we patiently await a lawsuit from Nick Nolte for confusing him with Busey, let’s play another round of America’s new favorite game show: Things Erin Thinks Are Gary Busey!

In the end, we’ll go ahead and count Erin’s review as being a legit 1 Star (Bret gave it a 3 Star review), but please know a formal complaint has been lodged.

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BASEketball (Erin: 1 Star, Bret: 2.5 Stars)

A movie starring the guys from South Park as inventors of a driveway sport that eventually hits the big time and includes lines from Bob Costas like: “You’re excited? Feel these nipples!” ? You had Bret at feel these nipples.

Erin gives it just 1 Star, including demerits for it being low-brow (agreed) and for Trey Parker and Matt Stone having bad hair (agreed).

Bret gives it 2.5 Stars and, upon reflection, probably should have given it slightly higher given how frequently he quotes the film.

Sure it feels a little dated (Jenny McCarthy and Yasmine Bleeth still look like normal humans!), but sometimes you just need a goofy, low-brow comedy with a tremendous Unsolved Mysteries reference to get you through the night. Above all else, that is what BASEketball provides.

First you watch the review, then you get the khakis, then you get the girls.

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Almost Heroes (Erin: 1 Star, Bret: 3 Stars)

Picture, if you will, combining the slapstick, physical humor of Chris Farley with the dry wit of a young-ish Matthew Perry. Who among us would not drink from that sweet nectar? Pour that over a funny premise (the “other” group that tried to make it all the way to the Pacific ocean and beat Lewis and Clark) and tell us who would refuse those bold flavors.

Well, Erin, for one.

Call it the review that almost ended a marriage. On the bright side, Erin only metaphorically danced on the grave of Chris Farley with a 1 Star review for Almost Heroes. Three Stars from Bret.

Try this quote on for size:

Pratt: Permission to check on the condition of my woman, sir? I wanna check on her bandages and see if she can keep some food down.
Edwards: You are aware, of course, that this woman of yours is made of straw?
Pratt: Oh, yes, sir. Figure that’s why she burned so easy.

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