Tag Archives: Horror

Cloverfield (Erin: 4.75 Stars, Bret: 4 Stars)

You’ll have to forgive us for our lame, half-hearted attempt to replicate the shaky-cam effect from Cloverfield at the beginning of this review.

J.J. Abrams attempt to give the U.S. its own version of Godzilla, however, scored very highly with the usually stingy Erin Rock.

The 4.75 Stars given to Cloverfield marks her fourth-highest review yet through 54 films.

Higher even than the movie that features this impossibly cool screenshot, if you can believe that.

For a movie to beat Center Stage in Erin’s eyes, it must be a high quality film (or, depending on your point-of-view, it must be better than one of the worst movies ever made).

Cloverfield falls short of being a classic horror movie (think Jaws or, if you are Bret, Halloween), but is a solid film that used the found footage concept extremely well before it became incredibly annoying. Every other film nowadays is a found-footage film and Cloverfield has to accept some of the blame for that phenomenon.

An incredible 4.75 Stars from Erin and a respectable 4 Stars from Bret.

An artist’s depiction of Erin and her Stars.

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Bram Stoker’s Dracula (Erin: 0.5 Stars, Bret: 1 Star)

Whoa… you totally forgot one terrific actor, man.”

Imagine taking classic source material (“Bram Stoker’s Dracula” — an iconic story and one of Bret’s all-time favorite books) and putting it in the hands of a legendary director (Francis Ford Coppola). Toss in some terrific actors (Gary Oldman in the titular role, Anthony Hopkins as Van Helsing) and you should have cinematic gold, right? Right?

No…. no. No.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula received the lowest combined score of any film we’ve reviewed so far.

According to no less a source than IMDB.com, the film was originally meant to be an original take on the Dracula mythology, but because the title Dracula was held by another film company, they decided to just name it Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

The move killed two birds with one stone; allowing the film to have Dracula in the title AND to trample on the grave of Bram Stoker, which apparently was very important to Coppola.

Because Bret’s head is going to explode if he has to think too hard about this film, we encourage you to watch our review above for all of our thoughts about this travesty.

They didn’t even get the vampire right, he isn’t sparkling at all!

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